Category Archives: Nurture

Why You’re Already A Leader Even If You Feel Scared and Insecure

U'RE ALREADY A LEADER
You’re Already A Leader – NurtureBodyandSoul.com


Here is the thing: it certainly takes practice and continuous growth to be a great leader – as it does to be great at anything.

But despite the fears and insecurities that you may have, you’re already a leader, or at least you already have leadership capabilities and let me show you why.

Do you ever feel like you were born to make a difference? Like something is pulling you to fulfill your destiny? To continue to grow and accomplish something extraordinary with your life? But you feel scared that you won’t be able to do it, that you don’t have what it takes?

Or may be you think that you have no idea what your purpose and mission in life is and you wonder how to find that out? I certainly had times when I felt that way in my life and I understand how it feels.

There Can’t Be Only One Path To Leadership

Similarly to success, there can’t be only one path to leadership. As unique as individuals are, so it is with their capability and way of leading, as well as what they lead and where they do it.

Some examples: a parent is the leader of a family, an highly successful athlete is a leader of its field and a CEO is the leader of a company.

If you’ve ever try to get people to do something, by inspiring them or by motivating them to accomplish something, then that is the way you’re leading. You’ve used your leadership capabilities to get them to do what needed to be done.

“I know of no single formula for success. But over the years I have observed that some attributes of leadership are universal and are often about finding ways of encouraging people to combine their efforts, their talents, their insights, their enthusiasm and their inspiration to work together.” – Queen Elizabeth II

Let us illustrate this with some further examples:

Example 1: You lead yourself to get to where you are right now in your life. Think about your accomplishments so far.

Example 2: You convinced your friends to choose movie A instead of movie B or you convinced your child to wear her jacket when she wanted to go out without it.

Example 3: You encouraged your team to give their best for the last milestones despite the tiredness.

Example 4: You inspired the people who work for your company to be engaged and identify with the company mission.

etc.

The methods you used can be considered your leadership style.

Now, let just explore the reasons why you’re already a leader.

Your Strengths and Priorities define Your Leadership

You have unique strengths and priorities that define your leadership. Also, your life experiences, just like your fingerprints, make you unique. No matter what your conditions and circumstances are, they influence the way you interact with people and thus the way you lead.

Honor those areas of your life where

  • you have clarity
  • you already have lots of knowledge,
  • you demonstrate strengths,
  • you’re disciplined,
  • you intuitively know what to do and
  • you love to talk about it
  • they are intuitively your priorities,
  • you highly value them

Follow that inner message that comes from within you. Apply daily actions to fulfill it, because where you naturally have the properties listed above, that is your purpose and your area of leadership.

In the area of your strengths and priorities, you demonstrate great leadership abilities already, without even being aware of it, because it is so natural to you.

You are already a leader in the area of your strengths and priorities, you have a vision and you have clarity on what to do to bring it to life.

So ask Yourself:

  • What are my priorities in life?
  • Where do I already have great skills and knowledge?
  • In which area of my life do I already have concrete tangible results that are considered above average?
  • What do I absolutely love to do?

You can also ask people close to you to tell you what you 3 top qualities or strengths are. Start with what is obvious to you and build from there.

Just because you are strong in a particular area doesn’t mean that the challenges evaporate or doesn’t exist.

Instead it means that you are ready to take the challenges and you have the tools and the skills to address them. And this is what gives you the confidence.

Life and leadership is not about the absence of problems or challenges, it’s about embracing the support and also the challenges that come along equally.

Most of the time you don’t think that you’re a leader because in the area of your strengths, it comes so naturally to you, so you don’t even value it.

Embrace your unique combination of strengths and priorities because they are your gift, they define your leadership.

Don’t Compare Yourself To Others – Be The Leader You Are

Embrace and show who you really are. Problems arise when you compare yourself to others:

  • either you want what they have and don’t honor what you have. You then feel insecure or even jealous
  • or you minimize what they have and don’t honor them. You want to impose what you have on them, you feel proud, arrogant or cocky.

Do not try to imitate or to copy someone else.

Honor what you have and who you are, while you also honor what others have and are.

The insecurities come when you try to be someone you’re not. They come when you want to pretend that you have the strengths that others display as your own, because you think it’s cooler or more socially accepted.

You won’t have room for insecurities if you focus on being fully present in your interactions with others.

Instead of obsessing about what others might be thinking about you, think of way of how you can assist others and be of service.

Fear has been defined as False Evidence Appearing Real.

In terms of dealing with fear, recognize that it is an illusion that comes from believing that something in your future is going to be “bad”. That it is going to bring you more negatives than positives.

When you start feeling the fear, take a deep breath and return to the present moment. In the present moment, the benefits and the drawbacks are all in perfect balanced, so all is well.

If you don’t value others and minimize them or their ideas, because you think that you’re better than them as their leader, you will probably attract criticism and rebellion from the people you lead or the people around you.

This will bring your exaggerated arrogance into balance and help you be authentic again. Value yourself and value others this is how others will value you as well.

Be your authentic self, while you allow others to be authentic as well.


If you don’t honor your authentic self and trust your inner guidance, you’ll need to rely on someone else’s authority.

Someone else will tell you how to behave, what to do, what to believe and to think, what to wear, what to eat, how to parent, how to run your business, what being beautiful is, what being spiritual is, how to love, how to live life.

When you show your authentic self and your unique gifts to the world, and you value others without subordinating to them, people are in awe and can’t take their eyes off of you.

You are therefore perceived as a leader.


Your Perceived Weaknesses and Voids Serve Your Leadership

We started by talking about how your strengths and your priorities define your leadership.

Now it’s time to make room for our weaknesses as well.

What we perceived as missing, our weaknesses and even what some call our dark side or our negative side all serve us and thus they serve our leadership.

When you honor and trust your unique gifts, as well as your perceived weaknesses you can then translate your knowledge in other areas of life.

Example:

Let’s consider a mother who regularly and successfully resolves conflict between her 3 children at home. She also work as a team manager.

Sometimes she catch herself thinking that may be she would have been a better team manager if she didn’t have children, like some of her female colleagues.

But by embracing and honoring her motherhood in her team manager role, she may use the insight and the experience gained with conflict resolution with her children for example to elaborate methods that can help her in that area at work.

Next time she needs to solve conflicts that arises between team members in her team manager job at the office.

You see, we already have in us everything, the good traits and the bad traits. All those traits are actually neutral until we judge them with our perceptions. When we judge, we create imbalance.

When we judge, we are in imbalance we percieve that something is missing because we’re comparing ourselves to others and we go after that.

Pride and shame will raise or lower our self esteem respectively. But by embracing all sides of ourselves and of others, we’re loving ourselves and others, which is the true love that really embraces everything.

Embrace your life as it is. If you compare your reality with something unreal, something you wish were happening, you get in imbalance, you get depressed, frustrated, confused or angry.

Embrace all sides of You – It serves You as a Leader

Master The Area of Your Leadership Even Deeper

To make a difference, know your strengths and priorities and embrace your perceived voids and weaknesses as well. Then commit to continuously learn more and more to master your life on an even deeper level. This will definitely be beneficial to your leadership.

Start with what you know and from there you can expand in other aspects of your life.

What you focus on grows. Focus on your strengths and priorities while embracing your perceived voids and continuously refine and expand yourself and you’ll be a master, loving what you do and doing what you love, and revealing your authentic self that way.

You see, many people do exactly the contrary, when they feel intuitively strong in one area, they stop learning in that area. Or they minimize that area, thinking that it’s not valuable enough.

Instead they focus all their efforts on their weaknesses, on what is difficult to them, on what is not working, and they end up beating themselves up because they’re not where they want to be… what a waste of talent.

How about doing this: have a basic strengths level in all areas of life. At the same time strive to be outstandingly excellent in the area of your gift, of your special intuitive strengths and talents. And in the process, delegate whenever possible and apply persistence and consistency.

I’m personally all about empowering all areas of life. And I believe You can have it all, one baby step at the time, focusing on progress.

I also believe that you don’t have to do it all by yourself. Gladly ask and receive help on your journey and learn the art of delegating to the people who are best in that task you’re delegating.

“No man will make a great leader who wants to do it all himself or get all the credit for doing it.” – Andrew Carnegie

So get knowledge and skills in all areas of life that inspire you, delegate what doesn’t inspire you at this moment, and re-evaluate and re-adjust regularly.

Get even more knowledge and skills in the areas of your strengths and priorities in order to be outstanding in those areas.

Leaders are outstanding.

Honor and master your unique strengths and priorities.

You are already unique, you are outstanding, you are a leader.

If You Ignore These 3 Steps You Might Keep Your Unwanted Emotions

NurtureBodyandsoul – How To Manage Unwanted Emotions

Do you wish you could:

handle every emotional situation with grace all the time and not overreact?

live your life without the emotional rollercoasters and feel only happy all the time?

Do you wish you always had high energy all the time and never felt lows, sadness, anger or discouragement?

Recently, one of my readers asked me: “Inès, how do I take control over my emotions, how do I efficiently manage the lows, those depressed emotional states that often come after the high emotional states? “

Then on another occasion, another reader told me that she was working on gaining more emotional stability.

If you too find yourself challenged by your emotions, I got you, I’ve been there too. And this blog post is for you.

There are 3 simple steps that you can use to deal with your unwanted emotions, no matter what they are.

1. Embrace The Way You Feel in This Moment

A long time ago, I wrote a blog post sharing 10 ways to Renew Inspiration and Deal with Discouragement and I believe it is truly a beautiful way to get us start on this conversation.

Today we’ll take another approach: instead of fighting the emotions and wishing things were different, why not Embrace the situation as it is.

No matter what has happened, acknowledge the situation and the way you feel about it, embrace it. It is what it is.

There is always a reason why things happen the way they happen. That’s why it is wise to embrace whatever happens.

I admit it can be difficult to do it spontaneously, or to do it all the time. Nevertheless, you can progressively train yourself to do it, and I do too.

For example: Look at your life and find moments where you’ve thought: ” I now understand why this event happened in this way at that time”.

Looking in the past, it is easy to witness the Divine Intelligence in action: Everything that happened makes sense and we can connect the dots.

Be wise and trust NOW. Do not wait to gain wisdom with time. Embrace Life as it happens, in the Now!

So next time you feel low, angry, resentful, frustrated, overwhelm or any other emotion we like to label as “bad” or unwanted, embrace it and feel it for a while.

You don’t have to stay there forever nor do you have to react to you anger for example or any unwanted feelings. Just take some time first to be present and feel it. You might even want to be alone for a little moment to be able to do this.

Here is a practice that can help you be present: Take several deep breaths. Inspire slowly, your stomach goes slowly out and then expire slowly, so that your stomach goes back in.

Slowly Deep breathing will help you calm your mind.

Now that you are calmer and aware of your feelings, you can choose the response you want to give to this feeling and the next steps will assist you with that.

2. Balance Your Mind, Become an Emotions Detective

Ask the Right Questions.

Ask yourself What exactly is it I’m feeling now and why? Explore the way you feel to find out the hidden reasons that make you feel those emotions.

For example: What do you feel discouraged or depressed or angry about? etc. And why? Sometimes the source of dissatisfaction is unrealistic expectations, other times it is lack of gratitude, tiredness or feeling overwhelm. Or may be you are judging and condemning yourself or another person?

Don’t spend too much time at this stage please. In my experience, this can sometimes keep you in the low state even longer or you can spiral down even deeper. Instead go to the next set of questions.

Ask yourself: What can I learn from this? Are there hidden benefits to this?

Let’s say you feel tired and got sick, because you were overworking and were sleep deprived. The hidden benefits might be that you finally get to rest now and and take care of yourself, you learn not to trade your needed sleep hours for work anymore.

The hidden benefits of being in a low mood: it allows you to self-reflect and may be take some time off to do something fun. Often you come out of such periods with new creative ideas.

Here are some of the things I love to do in such situations: go for a run, do a 10 minutes workout, paint or play the guitar. I’m sure you have your own list of fun things you love to do. Remember to use it next time you feel any unwanted emotion.

Now let’s consider the situation where you are angry for example because someone did something to you or at least that’s what you think. What can be the hidden benefits and the lessons to learn?

Hidden benefits: You might get to know yourself better, in terms of what pushes your button and why. You wouldn’t be angry if there were no trigger in yourself.

You’re humbled because you now understand that what you see in them is already in yourself, since others are a reflection of who you are. Lesson learned: As the saying goes,

 

“The seer, the seeing and the seen are all the same.”

 

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Express gratitude for the hidden benefits that your unwanted emotions bring you and you will quickly feel a relief from them. Feel grateful for all those emotions.

Ask yourself: What would be the drawbacks if what I expected from my situation or from my life was actually a reality.

You’ll discover that every event and circumstance always have both sides. Another way to say it is that every event and circumstance is neutral in nature, until your perception-filters start labelling some event as good and others as bad.

For every event, it is possible to find as much benefits as drawbacks.

Thinking about the benefits and drawbacks will definitely help you balance your mind and be grateful for the situation as it is, and thus help you neutralize and master your emotions.

I first learned about this concept from Dr. John Demartini, a polymath and human behavioral specialist who studies the laws of the universe. I encourage you to check him out, his teachings are indeed very powerful.


Now moving on to our last step:

3. Choose your Response: Decide and Execute

Now it is time to take action. 
Ask yourself: What do I want to do about this? What is the one single thing I can do right now to turn things around? How do I want to respond to this? Then take ACTION.


Actions create momentum and momentum by definition changes your state.

Exercise brings you out of low emotions. For example you can decide to do some jumping jacks, and start right there. Physical activity elevates your heart rate and changes the low state you were experiencing.

For example when I’m cooking and I have to wait for something to simmer, I sometimes like to hop around instead of just staying there still. This is so much fun and you always want to add as much fun in your life as possible. Right? Our kids love it.

After that first immediate action step, think long term.

Decide on one thing that you will do that will impact your emotional state in the long run: mindfulness, prayer, meditation, regular exercising routine, better communication etc.

Think about creating a new winning habit that will help you execute the decision you just made. Start very simple and easy, we want you to win in whatever you choose to act upon.


For example you can decide to start meditating for at least 3 minutes everyday for the next 21 days and start right now – or at least calm your mind through slow deep breathing everyday.

If you succeed on a chosen day to do your habit, and you enjoy it, your chances to continue and be consistent and persistent are higher than if you lose.

Therefore your habit shouldn’t be a too big goal or too many goals at the same time.

Once the habit is established, you can add to it and go to the next level. For example now go from 3 to 10 minutes of daily meditation or go from 21 days to 31 days.

Bonus: “Après la pluie vient le beau temps”

As a bonus, I want you to remember this next time you face a low:

“Après la pluie vient le beau temps“. In case you are wondering what it means: After the rain comes beautiful weather. So after a phase of low energy will come a phase of high energy.

There you have it. Think about the steps I shared with you above as your Mastering-Emotions Muscles:
The more you train your Mastering Emotions Muscles, the stronger they’ll become and you’ll experience higher emotions such as gratitude and unconditional love more and more often. 

To sum up, you just learned the following three steps to manage your unwanted emotions

Embracing the present moment,

Balancing your mind as well as

Taking action long and short term in the form of FunExercise and Meditation

Incorporated these steps in your daily life and you’ll definitely master your emotions a little more everyday.  

Great Job! Now you know the 3 simple steps to manage your unwanted emotions. Which one is your favorite and why? Leave a comment below and let me know.

Also, if you like this blog post, remember to subscribe if you haven’t yet, to receive your editable template 21 Days To more Happiness and the weekly NurtureBodyandSoul – NBS newsletter in your inbox.

And share this with your friends who might benefit from it.

6 Ways To Take Care of Your Body

Taking care of our body is a continuous process which keeps us fit, healthy and happy. We shouldn’t wait until we get sick before we slow down to take care of our body.

Let us start by being aware of our body right now. Be thankful that we are alive and that we live in our body and decide to take good care of it. Jim Rohn said:

” Take care of your body. It’s the only place you have to live.” – Jim Rohn

To take good care of our body, we have to listen to it and consider the elements which are going to help the body feel good and renew itself: elements such as cultivating health-habits, water and nutrition, rest and sleep, exercise, fresh air, and I will add beautifying the superficial.Keep Reading

The Happiness Experiment – Creating Habits

These inspiring words of Mahatma Gandhi suggest to me that our habits which are sustained by our actions, do define our values which in turn shape our destiny.

“Your beliefs become your thoughts,

Your thoughts become your words,

Your words become your actions,

Your actions become your habits,

Your habits become your values,

Your values become your destiny.” — Mahatma Gandhi

So, if we work continuously on building great habits, then eventually, once established, those habits will start working for us in creating an amazing destiny.

Keep Reading

Learn To Forgive

Forgiveness often doesn’t come to us naturally. Most often the instinctive reaction is to hold grudge or to get even.

Even when we want to forgive, it can be difficult because we forgive with our words but we still feel grudge inside.

This can cause damages to our Self in the long run. So it is important for us that we learn to forgive if we want to live a truly fulfilled life.

In this blog post, I will present some simple principles that will help us learn to forgive.

Find out the positives that have emerged from that experience and be grateful for it. You know that you have forgiven when you can be grateful for the experience.

Be grateful for the fact that you have grown from the hurt and the wrong that the experience has caused into your life. Be grateful for the people who helped you in the process of overcoming that situation.

Realize that since you are still here, alive, it didn’t destroy you. The lessons you have learned from it will make you stronger, wiser and you will be valuable to other people. Keep Reading

5 Tips To Create Balance in Your Life

Have you ever examined your life and felt that it was out of balance? May be you have many projects that you follow at the same time?
It happens to me more that I would like to admit. In fact, that is what has inspired me to write this blog post.
In the following, I will present five tips that have helped me in my attempt to get a fair degree of balance back in life.

1 – Set Priorities

Determine what is important to you in life and prioritize. Act according to your priorities, and delegate whenever possible.

Plan to finish what you start and limit the number of projects that you tackle at the same time. Since people have different capabilities, find your own threshold and keep it in mind when you plan.

Maybe 2 or 3 big projects weekly is a good start. It does not have to be the same weekly projects throughout the month or the year. You can alternate your focus on various projects on a weekly basis.Keep Reading

Free Yourself – Let Go

As long as our space and our life is full of things, people and memories we don’t want or don’t feel good about, we cannot have room for what we really want.

Learning to let go might be the first step you need to start creating the life you love.

By letting go, we create an opportunity here and now. That opportunity can then unfold into something new, better or more suitable for the person we are in this present moment. Keep Reading

How To Be a Loyal Friend

We can show our loyalty towards our friends directly in multiple ways. For example by caring, by being there in difficult times, by expressing our admiration of them to third party, etc…

But in certain situations, it is more difficult to demonstrate our loyalty, especially when our friends are not present.

Mary and Alice are friends. While they were catching up after a long time apart, Alice was explaining to Mary how Gabrielle, their common friend, has hurt her.

She was talking strongly about Gabrielle in a negative way, and Mary could sense, she was still deeply hurt from Gabrielle behavior. “I don’t want to talk to her anymore, and we are avoiding each other lately”, said Alice.Keep Reading

How to Finish What You Start

photo by Gabriel Saldana CC BY-SA 2.0

photo by Gabriel Saldana CC BY-SA 2.0

There are many projects that I’ve started and haven’t finished. It doesn’t keep me from starting other projects. But somewhere behind my mind, there is that little vague feeling of guilt for not finishing what I have started.

Do you sometimes feel that way too? Guilty about the projects that you have started and haven’t completed?

What is the key elements to finally complete the projects that we started?

There must be a trick right? Indeed there is. And that trick is: start only the projects that you will finish. Is it that simple?

In the following, we will illustrate how the planing phase is as important as the actions that we take, in order to increase our productivity and finish what we started. Keep Reading

Gratitude and Intentions

I got more than what I asked for…

When we add intentions to the gratitude practice, we expand from being grateful for what we already have to being grateful for what we want to attract: experiences, people, circumstances, things and situations. We anticipate and thank in advance for what we are attracting.

On that day, I went for a walk with our son in the park and then we went for grocery shopping. It was unusually warm for a winter day and we met two young cheerful people, a girl and a boy who smiled to us, and I smiled back.

Keep Reading